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New Mother, New Identity

Becoming a mother for the first time is a profound and transformative experience, reshaping your life in ways you may not have anticipated. Reclaiming your identity after having kids is a journey marked by pivotal steps that I, too, embraced along the way. I didn't fully comprehend this process until my children had grown, but I want to share these insights with current mothers to help them rediscover their sense of self amidst the challenges of raising children.

The steps to re-finding your identity after having children can be narrowed down to accepting your current reality, embracing the journey of self-discovery, releasing the labels and expectations, fearlessly pursuing your desires, and celebrating your rebirth. This journey has allowed me to rediscover myself while navigating the uncharted waters of motherhood.

1) Accept Your Current Reality

Embrace the present moment, regardless of whether motherhood is your lifelong aspiration. Be honest with yourself; authenticity is your most powerful tool on this journey. Allow yourself the freedom to introspect, observing your emotions without the burden of judgment.

My journey to re-find my identity after becoming a mother was marked by the adventurous birth of my first child, the peaceful second birth, and the profoundly graceful arrival of my fourth, the last one.

2) Embrace the Journey of Self-Discovery

Wholeheartedly embrace the profound journey of motherhood intertwining with womanhood. It's a beautiful process that guides you toward becoming the most genuine and fulfilled version of yourself.

As everyone says, the third time truly was the charm – it became my favorite. My older boys were just turning 3 and 1 when I became pregnant with my third child. Picture a scenario where I was constantly chasing after the two little boys, all while continuing to breastfeed. Astonishingly, I experienced no morning sickness. My energy levels soared, and I radiated a more profound inner and outer beauty than ever before. It was an amazing phase. My boys and I relished our visits to the midwife, who lived a couple of hours away in the serene countryside. I still reminisce about the delightful train rides we embarked on.

3) Release the Labels and Expectations

Having embraced every facet of your identity, it's now time to liberate yourself from the labels imposed by both your own thoughts and others. Envision yourself as a pristine canvas, a sacred vessel eager to be filled and expanded, free from the constraints of societal expectations.

As the seasons transitioned from summer to fall, my boys and I reveled in the joys of the changing environment. I can vividly recall capturing dragonflies with them. One Saturday morning, before the break of dawn, I awoke with a profound sense of happiness and tranquility enveloping me. Contractions were intensifying, yet I savored a leisurely bath, marveled at the morning dew in the garden, and enjoyed breakfast with my boys. The eldest was bubbling with excitement, darting around, and the second one nestled on my lap as we embraced each other with deep affection. I can close my eyes even now and feel that sublime sense of wholeness.

4) Fearlessly Pursue Your Desires

Be unapologetically honest with yourself. Be daring. Assert your rights to your passions. Never apologize or feel shame for the things that ignite your enthusiasm, regardless of what they might be.

It was, without a doubt, the most magical birth experience I could have wished for. I found myself reluctant for it to conclude. I was bathed in serene light, deeply peaceful, feeling my baby turn within me, poised to enter the world. Every moment of it was cherished. Both my sons stood beside me throughout, their faces radiant with excitement, peppering me with questions while our beloved midwife provided comforting answers. And then, there he was, a tiny bundle weighing only 5 pounds. Our home was permeated with his precious scent, and everyone's eyes shimmered with joy, happiness, and love.

5) Celebrate Your Own Rebirth

Just as you wholeheartedly celebrate every milestone and achievement of your child, it's essential to also revel in your own rebirth with boundless love and profound wonder. Motherhood is a transformative journey, and the woman you evolve into is a living testament to your extraordinary strength and resilience. You're not merely giving life to babies; you're birthing a stronger, more capable, and authentic version of yourself.

So, you see, this isn't just my son's birth story; it is MY birth story. Because on that day, a very special woman was born. See childbirth as the re-birth of your womanhood. A venture into new waters that have the potential to empower, transform, and fuel you. Is motherhood easy? No, but it can be transformative in the most beautiful way. Once you see what a woman’s body can achieve and re-finding who you are after you are a vessel for a being can be daunting, but with some reflection, it can be an illuminating path forward, showing you how to embark on this beautiful journey of transitioning from womanhood to motherhood.


Coco, a successful serial entrepreneur, has founded projects like KISAKI and The Crypto Palace, all while staying true to her love for animals through her company HARU. She is the creator of The Goddess Whisperer™ Academy, offering workshops on the Divine Feminine. Coco's compassionate approach and commitment to healing empower those around her, guiding them toward their dreams and destinies. Her work aims to leave the world better than she found it, offering a path to a blissful way of living for all who are ready. Coco is prepared—are you?

CoCo is a survivor of abuse, violence, addiction, and mental and serious health illnesses. As an Omni-Feminine single mother who was once homeless, Coco appreciates these valuable life lessons and has turned all these challenges into her strengths. With her profound background, she shares a new blissful way of living fearlessly as an inspirational speaker through her global community and empowering mastermind group. She spends her time living between her homes in Lake Tahoe, Los Angeles, Hawaii, and Tokyo and traveling first-class around the globe. Her adult children are out of the nest and living their own purposeful lives, but now she embraces her four rescued fur babies instead.

Coco's life story is a testament to the power of resilience, transformation, and a deep commitment to bringing light and healing to the world. Her journey began with a profound sense of not fitting in and questioning her very existence in her own body.

Despite dealing with a number of traumas and overcoming hardship, Coco's mission is to unite the world through connection, divine love, joy, and healing. She believes that treating others with empathy, compassion, and love, coupled with understanding their needs and desires, can truly change the world. Her mission is to share her light and bring people together through empathy, compassion, and divine love using her gifts and sharing her lived experiences.

Cover Photo by Monstera Production

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